The Entrepreneurship Sacrifice

We often hear the horror stories of entrepreneurship, how hard and unpredictable it can be. The odds are stacked against you from the beginning and only if you navigate through an unforgettable terrain of bullshit for an undetermined amount of time, will you come out on top. But what does that hardship actually entail? If we strip away all the cliché motivational office posters and memes, if we eliminate all the noise and terrible quotes, what remains? What is the ultimate sacrifice of entrepreneurship?

I have been mentoring for the past 3 years, teaching, discovering, and unpacking what it's like to be an entrepreneur. Many have asked me to share why I became an entrepreneur, but to be honest, I always have difficulty answering that question. I don't know what drives someone to become an entrepreneur. Is it an actual desire or simply a response to a calling? When I try to think back, I don' recall ever having a specific thought or plan of retiring from a cushy job. To me, the 9-5 routine was always a temporary placeholder on the path to fulfillment. There was never a moment where I thought, “Oh no, I don't want to work anymore; I'll become a CEO instead.”

Also, is 'Entrepreneur' a title? I consider myself a creator. I create products or services that serve a community, and I seek the help of others to efficiently continue the creation process. I never saw entrepreneurship as being the boss who tells others what to do. For me, the best way to understand it was that entrepreneurship is a calling. It's not a talent or a choice, but rather the realm where I operate at my utmost capacity.

I believe that the true cost of entrepreneurship is not solely borne by those who choose to pursue it. The cost is equally shared between those aspiring to be entrepreneurs and those within their immediate circle—family, partners, friends, and employees. These costs are unevenly distributed at different stages of the entrepreneurial journey.

When you decide to answer the call of entrepreneurship, nothing truly prepares you for it. Despite the courses and classes you may have taken, it's an experience unlike any other. You can't learn it elsewhere; it's something you have to try firsthand. It's a bit like psychedelics—something you hear about, read about, and learn about, but it's entirely different from what you could have imagined.

Anyway, once you make the decision to proceed, you may have the idea that it will be challenging, and you'll trade weekends and sleepless nights for growth, financial security, and a lavish lifestyle. However, the truth is that the cost is much, much higher. Ultimately, it demands everything you currently are in exchange for the potential of becoming what you aspire to be. You must have an unwavering commitment, and you must trust that you will reach your goals no matter what. And if and when you do, you will no longer be the person you once were.

Losing weekends and sleep is just the tip of the iceberg. You will lose family connections, friendships will likely be strained, and relationships may even dissolve. Your self-belief will be tested nearly every day. Self-respect may waver with each challenging email, but only momentarily. It's reminiscent of the mythical phoenix bird—you must be willing to burn to the ground completely, only to rise back up and soar once again.

I wish I can say my journey was as inspirational as others. Or as impactful or as lavish or rapid as you often hear on podcasts or interviews but it wasn’t. It was a slowly burning candle that took many many tries to ignite. When asked: Why did I keep going? A quote comes to mind:

“Old man’s gotta be the old man, fish has gotta be the fish. You gotta be who you are in this world, no matter what.” - Denzel Washington

I kept going because to me it wasn’t a trial, it wasn’t something I can just shake off and resort to the comforts of a job. It was just meant trial and error until finding a winning solution. It took seven tries to generate my first million revenue.

In that journey, I have lost most of my friends. I have experienced significant health setbacks and battled addictions along the way. To find success, I had to leave behind everything I was familiar with. During the darkest times, I didn't even have the will to live. I struggled to afford basic necessities like food, bills, and even a phone. Now, to be fair, not all of these hardships were direct outcomes of becoming an entrepreneur, but nevertheless, they were challenges I had to endure on my path. Ironically, I excelled in my work. The 9-5 routine was easy for me. I performed well, worked efficiently, but deep down, I was never truly happy. The lack of fulfillment often led to resentment towards my superiors and sometimes made me question my dedication as an employee.

After more than 17 years of starting businesses, pursuing failed ideas, engaging in startups, and experiencing numerous 9-5 jobs, I have accumulated a wealth of knowledge, resources, experiences, and a valuable network of connections that now allow me to make it work. While it is often said that it takes 3-5 years to achieve something significant in the entrepreneurship game, it took me 17 years... The person I was when I started is long gone.

But I appreciate the person I am becoming now.

Perhaps growing at a slower pace has given me the opportunity not only to discover what I am truly capable of but also to learn the value of what truly matters and the person I aspire to become. Nowadays, my sacrifices are more calculated and less extreme. I have shed my selfish, naive, and foolish self and embraced a new version of myself—one that is more intentional, caring, kind, and forgiving towards myself.

This success isn't solely measured by monetary gains. To me, success is about understanding my own identity and values. I am now happily married and working on repairing my relationship with my family. I am selective about the people I allow into my intimate circle. My choices in what I read, eat, and do are guided by purposeful ideologies. My next level of sacrifice will involve ensuring the well-being of my team and the prosperity of my family. I don't view it as a work-life balance; rather, my life is intertwined with my work. This, to me, is the greatest success of all. I no longer dread Monday mornings, nor do I solely celebrate Friday nights. Instead, I eagerly anticipate and celebrate creative breakthroughs and the victories we achieve along the way.

Was it worth losing everything? Yes, because it is my calling. Pursuing a calling is not about choosing one aspect over another; it's a continuous journey of learning how to consistently respond to your calling while growing personally and emotionally. It's about bringing others along for the ride without losing them. It's about being forgiving of yourself and your mistakes and always finding a glimmer of hope in the darkest of times.